"Now listen here Cloud Strive lookin’ motherfucker."
"Listen, I’m not doing this, because you told me to, I’m doing this because I’m a good dad. So maybe, maybe if you were a half f*cking decent, person you weren’t a total piece of sh*t who’s going nowhere in life, you’d know what being a good parents like. You waste of f*cking air."
"Only if your every decision follows within the realm of my cookie cutter plan for you"
"Oh…so that’s why you get drunk and yell at them all the time?
"And that little fairy creature, that automatically knows whenever you lost your tooth, and it’s under your pillow, for some reason…replaces it with money; that’s stupid. I don’t know why you’d believe that in the first place."
"DON’T YOU TALK ABOUT GOD THAT WAY!"
"Age is just a number!
And a jail cell is just a room!”
"Okay, if you’re threatening me, I’m going to have to contact the police"
"Please Baby I don’t want a retarted boyfriend
Oh, you mean like your last one?”
"Oh my God, those two pillows pressed together looks just like a vagina…TIME TO FAP!"
"WHAT ARE YOU, SEXIST????!!!!!!!!!!!"
Uh huh, Hey Sweetie I hate to cut you off but why don’t you grow some F*CKING BALLS!”